


In Which There Are Fingers In The Fridge

by Arrowsbane, LilMxPlagueRat



Series: Misadventures Of John And Sherlock [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gift Fic, Mostly Dialogue, Short, Twoshot, Unrated, au-ish, slight crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-12-04 12:05:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/710602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arrowsbane/pseuds/Arrowsbane, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilMxPlagueRat/pseuds/LilMxPlagueRat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John finds human fingers in the fridge and emails Sherlock asking why they are there</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which There Are Fingers In The Fridge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arrowsbane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arrowsbane/gifts).



There were a few things that you didn't expect to see when getting milk out of the fridge for your morning cup of tea - one of those things was a bag of  _human_  fingers,  _human bloody FINGERS._  Put off his breakfast, and possibly anything he could eat or drink that day, John Watson sat down at his laptop and emailed the culprit, his flat mate Sherlock Holmes, detective extraordinaire, pain in John's rear end.

_Fingers In The Fridge_

_Sherlock, why the hell are there human fingers in the fridge?_

_-John_

Feeling slightly calmer, John decided that he should write up a post for his blog on their latest case "The Blind Banker" while he waited for a reply from his annoying friend - who just happened to be in the next room.

**It's For Science**

**But it's for science, John!**

**-SH**

_What Kind Of Science Experiment..._

_What kind of science experiment could possibly acquire of you to keep_ FINGERS  _in the fridge?!_

_-John_

When you thought about it, it was quite lazy of the two young men to be emailing each other when they were no more than four foot away from each other. It really was quite stupid… Mind when one of them was a more than slightly mad genius who got a high of detective work, especially serial murders, you could possibly see why the two of them thought emailing rather than talking could be a good idea...

**RE: What Kind Of Science Experiment...**

**Honestly John, I'm testing the effects of temperature on the process of decomposition**

**-SH**

_Mini Fridge?_

_Could you not just get a mini fridge or something for these experiments? I am sick and tired of finding body parts next to the milk!_

_-John_

'More like testing how long it will take for me to blow up' John thought as he typed out his reply. He was really starting to get annoyed at the detective and his experiments - the fridge was for food, milk and juice, not organs.

**Exasperation**

**But John! If I move them now, it'll interfere with my experiment!**

**-SH**

_Confiscation Of The Skull_

_If you do not have all human body parts removed from the fridge in the next 24 hours, I will get Mrs. Hudson to confiscate your skull again_

_-John_

**Confiscate Yourself**

**Psh. Who needs a skull when I have you following me around. The skull just made people stare.**

**-SH**

'... Confiscate yourself? Of all the subject titles he could come up with it was "confiscate yourself".'  
It was a while before the ex-military doctor could pull himself together enough to type out a reply, and even longer before he could bring himself to still be angry at the detective. Sherlock would never learn if John always let him have his way.

_SHERLOCK!_

_I mean it, Sherlock! No more human body parts in the fridge or I will put you in a room with Anderson._

_-John_ __

**Evil!**

**Okay, now you're just being mean. I'm telling Molly!**

**-SH**

'Molly? His solution to being in a room with Anderson is Molly? Maybe I should do a drugs check on his room again... Then again Molly and her obsession with Sherlock are pretty scary...

_RE: Evil!_

_Really? You are incredibly smart and the best thing you can come up with is Molly? I put up with you and Mycroft, don't I?_

_-John_

**RE: Evil!**

**Molly works in the morgue. Mycroft controls the government. Molly is a woman with sharp tools at her disposal. Three letters: PMS.**

**-SH**

_RE:EVIL_

_It couldn't be any worse than you and Mycroft, though I could easily point her in your direction if need be._

_-John_

**RE:EVIL**

**You are evil. Fine. I'll remove the HUMAN body parts. You said nothing about the animal ones, and as such those shall remain.**

**-SH**

_RE:EVIL_

_Just keep it away from the stuff we eat and cook with, Sherlock._

_-John_

**Spoilsport**

**If I must.**

**-SH**

_RE: Spoilsport_

_Good, and don't think I won't lock you in a room with Anderson if that stuff goes anywhere near the stuff we eat._

_-John_

**E.V.I.L!**

**-.-"**

**-SH**

* * *

'Of all the people he could lock me in a room with it would have to be Anderson he picks, wouldn't it. The man is too easy to read, and stupid, I hope his stupidity isn't contagious. Maybe I could sneak in an experiment to keep me at least semi entertained, or my violin, that could work, as long as he doesn't look at me or think too loud,' Sherlock thought. He would be terribly bored if John did lock him up in a room with Anderson. He would even prefer Mycroft to that prick; at least Mycroft was semi intelligent.

_Not Evil_

_I am not evil Sherlock. There isn't really evil in the real world._

_-John_

**I Beg To Differ**

**One word: Moriarty.**

**-SH**

_RE: I Beg To Differ_

_I don't think Moriarty counts as real world._

_-John_

_**Don't Go There** _

**Shush John! You'll give him ideas.**

**-SH**

_RE: Don't Go There_

_How many ideas could I give a mad man?_

_-John_

**RE: Don't Go There**

**-.-" Depends - does he own a blue box?**

**-SH**

_RE: Don't Go There_

_A blue box? How the hell would I know if he owned a blue box?_

_-John_

'It must be so relaxing not being me, though it must be very boring being unable to observe things properly, missing the obvious.'

**Shame On You**

**As ever, you look, but do not observe. Shame on you John.**

**-SH**

* * *

_RE: Shame On You_

_Well not everyone can be a world class genius, Sherlock. So please explain to the lesser folk._

_-John_

John didn't know if Sherlock replied after this, as he was too annoyed at the detective to put up with his nonsense and the fact he made everyone around him seem stupid. Though the doctor would get his own back the next morning when he would find the fingers still sitting next to the milk in the fridge. All he had to do was get Sherlock in a room with Anderson.

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a set of emails between SophiaConrad and me and I couldn't help make it a little twoshot, please leave some feedback and tell me if you spot any mistakes  
> The next chapter will be the aftermath of Emails  
> PLUR and chocolate  
> Blessed Be  
> Cazzy  
> xx


End file.
